I can see how easily it would be for this kind of “busyness” to go on for a long time unchecked.  By then your kids are so used to you telling them “no” that they just quit asking.  I refuse to be that dad!  This is where we as men need some help!  Most of us are wired as doers, task finishers, project tamers, goal accomplishers, etc… And in being so we tend to have a bit of a one tracked mind, which works both for and against us.  We need the support of our wives and other godly men that will hold us accountable and call us out when we are neglecting our kids.  My wife does a great job at this.  She is with them all the time, so she can tell when they are in need of more daddy time.  This is one of the areas I would suggest you, as the leader of your home, ask your wife to help you in.  I could overwhelm you with stats off how much better off kids are when the dad is not just there, but active and involved… But I won’t… I don’t have to… Deep down, you know it’s true and right anyway!  You know how great it feels to see them smile just because you took the time to have a tea party, set up train tracks, or put a quilt on top of the couch cushions you so strategically placed in the hall that you could run, do a belly-flop, and slide all the way down the hall without so much as a scratch.

I am so glad that God gives us those little moments that serve as reminders that one of the reasons we were wired this way was so that we would cultivate our family too!  I had several more things to do today at the house after an already long, hot day of work.  My kids had been begging me to swim with them in their new kiddie pool their mom had picked up for them.  I put them off a little while so I could attend to the “all-important” yard work.  When I finally gave in, I placed a big tarp beside the pool to act as kind of a slip and slide.  We all three had so much fun!  I was able to relax and play with them all at the same time.  That’s when God’s little reminder came to me that this is more important than any project list that I had been giving too much time and energy to.

We are called by God to shepherd, instruct, and disciple our children in the ways of the Lord.  But they are just like other people in the world, they need to know you have their best interests at heart before they will really respond to what you try to teach them.  If you don’t spend quality time with your kids, they will find someone who will and that person will own the influence in their lives.  Dad, you are important!

Happy Father’s Day guys!

I believe the problem lies in a couple of areas for men who call themselves followers of Christ yet show no interest in leading their families as the Bible says we are supposed to.

1. They are never confronted with the full truth of what God has called them to as a believer, husband, father, church leader.  No one has ever sat them down and said “Grow up!”  This culture as well as the church has allowed “men” to remain overgrown boys.  That leads to this Peter Pan syndrome, that America is plagued with, where men, married or single, think only of themselves, their toys, and what pleases them most.  I know.  I was one of them.  By God’s grace I am continuing to rise above that selfish, self-centered, tiring lifestyle that I thought was so much fun (lets face it even when you get what you want all the time, it’s still empty).  So part of the problem is a lack of knowledge.  We have lost the art of mentoring in the church today.
2. They are told and shown from the Scriptures what God’s expectations are and never really consider the weight that brings or they consider it too high a price.  They are told we are to love our wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her (Eph 5:25).  That statement alone is enough to blow your mind!  They are told and shown that it is our responsibility (not our wife’s, not the church’s, not the school’s) to teach the Word to our children (Deut 4:10, 6:7, 11:19).  Side note: They are not “our” children to do with as we please.  They belong to God and He has seen fit to allow us to be a steward over their lives and to raise them the way He says we are to raise them. So you end up with men, when it comes to their families, who are either lazy or apathetic.

Yes it’s a huge task.  Yes it’s hard sometimes.  But, we’re men!  We have no trouble finding the strength to do the other things we really want to do.  If we want to learn a new sport, hobby, job, etc., we pour a ton of time, energy and money into it so we can be the best at it that as possible.  Why do we not treat our families (of infinitely greater value) the same way.  Why do we not spend time, energy, and resources on learning how we can love our wives better or how do we go about teaching our kids the Word and that Jesus loves them more than they will ever know?  A lot of times we are like Jonah.  We see the task, don’t like the terms and bolt the other way.  Jonah bore the weight of his disobedience, but sadly if we don’t do something about our families, they will be the ones to suffer because we didn’t think they were worth the price.

Either live your life on purpose, or life will live you.  Don’t just react to things that happen.  See the things you want to happen in your family, pray that God grant you wisdom, strength, and grace… and then MAKE IT HAPPEN!

You don’t have to be a theologian to read the Bible to your kids.  You don’t have to be Billy Grahm to pray with your wife.  You do need to read your Bible and pray (feed yourself) so you will have something to feed them with.  Everyone runs into a dry season where you’re not focusing on your walk with God and living for Him.  We all have times when we lose the battle to selfishness.  The question is do we struggle with that or do we just roll over?  Repent and get back to what you know is right!  Worship God, live for Him and enjoy the family He has blessed you with.