As I sat by our fireplace roasting marshmallows with my kids, the thought hit me “This isn’t as hard as we have made it out to be…” I realized that my kids were happier sitting there with me, eating gooey goodness, than they would be doing anything else. Guys, leading out in your family isn’t as difficult as it may seem. The biggest part of having an influential role in the lives of your kids is just being around! You can’t disciple your children if you’re not around. Which brings me to my next point.
What does it look like to lead out spiritually in your family? Again, not as difficult as we’ve made it. Yes, we do need to read the Bible, we do need to study the Bible, we do need to pray because our kids will ask us questions that will force us to say “I don’t know, but I’ll find out.” But, aren’t these activities things that all Christians should be doing and striving for anyway? You do not need to be some brainiac theologian (able to quote thousands of verses from memory and write your own systematic theology book) to lead a family devotion or worship time. Nor do I think that those times have to be every single night, 3-4 times a week would be good, but, every night surely isn’t too many! It could be as simple as: read a few verses, talk about them for a few minutes, and have prayer. You could even get a good worship cd or play a few kid led worship songs from an iPod. Be creative and have fun. If you’re like me, not very creative, there are tons of websites (some referenced on this site) to help you out. By far my favorite investment when it comes to this subject in my family was when I bought The Jesus Storybook Bible. The stories are relatively short, easy to read, the kids love them, and they all point back to Christ! Most of the theological work is done for you. Great resource if you have kids under 7 or 8.
Please don’t misunderstand me, it is a big role. The weight God places on us as men, husbands, and dads is heavy! Spiritually leading our families is easy to understand Deut. 4:9-10 (we know we should be), but hard to do. It’s not hard to do because the tasks are huge or over our heads (I mean really, a 15 minute devotion with our wife & kids a few times a week…), it’s hard to do because it’s a constant battle with our flesh and laziness. I know it’s tough, believe me. For some strange reason, praying with just my wife is one of the toughest things for me to do because it forces me to bare myself to God in the presence of someone else, seeing and hearing all my flaws. But that is such a beautiful part of our relationship with our wives and Satan will do whatever he can to stop that! It’s also hard to feed others if you are starving to death yourself. Again, believe me, I’ve tried.
On a side note… It always amazes me how some guys will spend so much time and money learning, mastering, or just watching a sport or hobby, but when it comes to investing in their wife and kids, all of a sudden their tired and can’t afford a few resources for the spiritual health of their family. I’m not anti-sport or anti-hobby, we need some time to ourselves and time with the guys! BUT not at the expense of our family. Being a Biblical man is tough because it calls us to sacrifice, to lay down our lives for others. Sacrifice ourselves for the Gospel, for our family, & for the church.
I’m not a big New Year’s resolution guy, but MEN, we do need to have some resolve! Get with God, grow in Him, feed yourself, feed your family, feed His Church, and praise Christ that where we fail there is grace! Be MEN! Please hear me… Husbands… Dads… You can do this! Don’t be afraid to ask for help. You can’t do it alone. Find other guys on the same path and fight for each other!
