All Dads are Pastors
The qualifications for elders (pastors) and deacons listed here (below) and in 1 Timothy 3 are not just for the “professional” ministers! Some men may think or say that since they are not in, or striving to be in, a leadership position that these lists don’t apply to them. I believe that is a cop-out and a slight misuse of the text. True, pastors and deacons should be held accountable and held to certain standards, but we as husbands and fathers are by biblical default the pastors of our homes or “little churches” as the puritans rightly said. To justify our life style by saying these lists are “just for the preachers” is just flat out lazy and unholy. We all, by God’s grace, are to be holy because He is Holy!
“if anyone is above reproach, the husband of one wife, and his children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination. For an overseer, as God’s steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain, but hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined. He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it.” – Tts 1:6-9 ESV
So please let me encourage you, dad, you are the pastor and spiritual leader of your home whether you know it or not, whether you act like it or not, whether you want to be or not. God has placed you as the head of your family just as Christ is the head of the church, and there is no greater honor than for Him to trust a wife and children into your stewardship! You don’t have to be an exegetical master or even a big theologian, but YOU, sir, set the spiritual temperature of your home, not your wife! The concept is simple enough… it’s the doing it that’s hard! Believe me, I know! It requires us to be with God, know Him, learn about Him, and find ways to communicate His goodness to our wives and kids. It is a great joy and honor and shouldn’t be taken lightly. Are we striving for the characteristics on this list?
There are multiple resources on this site (and others like it) that will help you in this area. You can get help with your family devotions by looking through some of the articles we have tagged. I strongly recommend listening to some of the podcast series that deal with biblical manhood (men as Christians, husbands, & fathers). “The Image and Glory of God” series by Matt Chandler is one of my favorites and really helped me in my walk as a Christian man! Also the “Calling Men to Lead” series by Voddie Baucham was a fantastic series. Above all… seek God, repent, and get to work!
On a side note: Nowhere in the lists of qualifications for elders/pastors does it ever mention that he must be able to grow a church numerically. In this culture I believe we place way too much emphasis on a man’s ability to lead/grow a church or business rather than looking into how he is pastoring the “little church” God has already blessed him with. There are pastors who are biblically unqualified for the position because of the way they manage (or lack there of) their homes, but remain in the pulpit because of charisma or numerical growth.